Learning

Three weeks ago I had serious second thoughts about my purpose and place here in Jackson. Thirty plus hours a week in an internship that was strenuous, left me unhappy and frustrated at the end of the day, and involved communication styles most humans consider confrontational or demeaning was disappointing to say the least. Although my current understanding of where I am and what I'm doing has taken a complete "U-turn" from that low almost a month ago, it required some mental and emotional acrobatics to arrive here, at peace.

The transition started the night I had a heart to heart with chef. From that point, it evolved slowly over the span of a week and came to revolve around one central point- learning. On a basic level my internal conflict was rooted in an external one, a huge shift in learning style equal to nothing I have ever before experienced in  my 19 years. The source of my initial frustration with Atelier  Ortega (AO)  has now grown into one of the most valuable pieces of this experience.

I arrived at AO with virtually no experience, my naivete, and a redeeming enthusiasm. Unfortunately, the enthusiasm wasn't enough to spare me from Chef's wrath, which seemed to increase in reverse proportion to my job satisfaction. After chef and I's heart to heart, my crushed spirit caught a second wind and gave me new eyes. Survival!

Learning at AO under chef involves an environment, process, and product much different than learning at LVHS. Most obvious is a dramatic change in environment. A relaxed, social atmosphere filled with books and computers and friends is eons away from the stressful commercial kitchen setting. The learning environment at AOs is demanding and at times quite uncomfortable, and learning processes are more heavily tied to "doing," trial and error, experience, and specific, close concepts. The learning process at LVHS follows a classic book and lecture format; an effective, albeit oft unengaged process for many learners. A comparison of learning in these two contexts presents an interesting dialogue about standards, experiential learning, mentor ship, success, and failure.

Although my current learning environment feels much less safe, the lessons I gleam feel so tangible and real. Safe does not always equate with meaningful; this is not to say that chef's harshness and teaching style are always justified, simply a different style of delivery. A means to the same end. What I have come to appreciate about my teacher's methods is his inherent honesty. Never am I left in the dark when it comes to his opinion concerning my work in the kitchen

Chef's attention to detail, his completely anal retentive tendencies; these traits often culminate to form some of the most painfully harsh criticisms I have ever received. The upside? All praise, criticism, evaluation, and feedback is 100% genuine. 100% objective.  Another added benefit- I'm developing a thick skin and gaining experience separating criticism of work from criticism of self.

Needless to say, my time at AOs as an intern has not always been a cake walk (harhar), but will continue to be a valuable learning experience.